‘Imperfection is beauty…’

There is true magic in the variety of life.  If you look close enough, you will discover that every‘thing’ and every‘one’ is unique.  This uniqueness is what piques our imagination; catches our eye; opens our mind and expands our awareness. 

Life is full of wonder in all of its imperfections.  Even all of the imperfect moments in our lives are unique and beautiful.  To define ‘perfection’ is to limit the universe’s imagination.

I hope that 2014 brings you a renewed appreciation for ‘imperfect’ beauty

everywhere you find it.

 I hope you are filled with wonder when enveloped by a snowfall;

an abundance of unique snowflakes slowly floating towards the ground.

 

I hope you find yourself surrounded often by the love of your imperfect friends and family – that they make you laugh and smile and sometimes cry.

I hope that life surprises you with moments of absolute imperfection

...each and every day.

Play more

Worry less

                         Live your life with abandon
                                            Take risks for love and honor
                                                      – be brave!

 and…Always be true to yourself –

         for you are the unique person that I value and love
                                 exactly as you are.
 
                            Wishing you a Happy 2014

Love,

Louise

 

Marilyn Monroe — 'Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.'

 

How to give thanks

Smile – a lot …at everyone and everything!  Applaud good deeds and great music... celebrate family and friends by spending time, not money…laugh at yourself more often…live fully and love deeply. 

Recognizing that there is something precious in all of life’s moments is a way of giving thanks for each and every one of them. 

Share what you can as often as you can.  Once in a while, share even if it is inconvenient.  A mere inconvenience can change someone else’s life. 

Take a chance.  Feel gratitude in the face of fear, anxiety and hardship.

Give of yourself…

Triathlon

Running man

               Running to?

               Running from?

               Running steadfast          to get from point ‘a’             to point ‘b’

                              Because it needs to be done

                              Because someone must do it

                              Because it is the right thing to do

                              Sometimes … just because

                              Some days … who knows why?

Man running ….just a man and his body…in motion…resisting the wind

Jumping into the cool clear water
            Washing away the sweat…gliding through the water…purified…refreshed
            Breathing   focused 
                        A new goal
                        A new medium to traverse 
                        A new sensation
                        Renewed
                        Pushing through      
Man swimming towards his horizon…just a man and his dreams…clearing the way

Spinning wheel       
            Technology enhanced motion…gears maximize distance…minimize effort
            Pushing down…pulling up…breathing symbiosis…man and machine
                        The final frontier

                        The final gauntlet

                        The final chapter

                        Finally the future

                        No longer man alone

Man arrives at his destination…realizing his dream lies dormant inside…waiting to be set free.

 

(for a friend, or many friends, or maybe just for me)

the heart has no eyes

     it sees only with unconditional compassion and acceptance

          it looks deeper than you can possibly hide

                             and finds you                                 

  -  the you that even ‘you’ try to hide from

and       all it can do is love

and the true gift is to remember

           that just as you see others with your heart,

                                and not your eyes

you must believe that they see you with theirs

                 and that you are loved  

    deeply                completely                    unconditionally

your life has meaning

             and that the only mirror worth looking into

 

                                is the heart

don't waste your lifetime having never learned this lesson

 

< I wrote this in honor of a childhood friend who is celebrating her 5th year with a new heart >

1825

Close enough

1825 – not the breaths

…the breaths are endlessly more

Not the tears …

happy, sad, and in-between

Not the moments…

the priceless moments…infinite moments

1825

Close enough

but much more than that…

                                                 1825 – not a number

…a gift…wrapped in another’s heartache

Tied with a ribbon…loosely holding together a life too short

A life that escaped the earth too soon

...and with his last breath

He sought to breathe life into another

Because of the love he shared

And the strength of the loved ones he left behind

1825
Close enough

I have counted to 1825

I have counted the sunrises and sunsets

I have counted my blessings

Shared in infinite moments

With family and friends

Because there once was a young man

Who was loved

Who’s love was brave and larger that his life 

My heart is his

And all of the moments I live

I share with him

 Happy 5^th Birthday

To my donor

Thank you

 

like glass

I broke it

     It was new and fragile

      I thought I dropped it

     But upon reflection I did not drop it nor toss it aside, but threw it away

 Could it have been a new friendship? 

     A new collaboration? 

     A new opportunity?

What could have grown…blossomed…if nurtured?

               Nothing to do now but remember

                              Perhaps regret

                                             Definitely reflect

 When it landed

     It shattered

     Tiny fragments everywhere

     I doubt it can be repaired

It was new and fragile

                       And I…          I  broke it

 

 

Bread .....

The day is cold… bitter cold.  The week has been long and full of stress, disappointment….less joy….my breath rises before me in a cold mist as I peer outside.  All week the needs of family, coworkers, friends permeated the air.  I forget the whispering of my dreams…

I make my way into the kitchen.  All is quiet because it is early… too early.  The canister of flour on the counter calls to me, beckoning my soul…even as the aroma of coffee awakens my senses.  It has been a long time … too long… since I have indulged my passion.

It is all before me…. The pieces to my dream…lying about the kitchen… out of sight…just enough so that I never quite pull it all together.  Today feels different.  Today feels like the right day ….so I reach out …and my hands find the flour…the milk…the butter and sugar…and the yeast.  As the thought of my adventure warms my heart, I warm up the milk….just enough….to entice the dormant yeast out of hiding…it is time …for me …for the yeast…to grow and to ‘become’…

A little sugar…enough to sweeten the dream and to feed the yeast as they awaken…as I awaken my dormant joy again.  The cold outside is long forgotten.  I have begun to create a place in my heart and in my kitchen for a dream to emerge…a sprinkle of flour over the warm liquids and I am ready to work …adding a bit more flour as I stir the mixture…it is easy at first…not really work at all… letting this dream out….

More flour…I ponder the week that has just passed.  Work is busy…each day is like the bowl before me….it is something easily stirred…a routine… I can close my eyes and the wooden spoon manages the flour, mixes it together almost effortlessly…most of my life is routine…mindless.

Add a little more flour….my stirring slows as I think about the problems of the week.  These things require a little more effort to think about; a little more effort to sort out….my stirring slows as the mixture thickens.  My thoughts slow…dreams recede and are replaced with reality.  Life can be difficult…distracting.

It is time for the final push, adding the remainder of the flour….my forearms tense stirring against this thickened dough…‘life’ dealt to me this past week … sometimes too much of the wrong kind and sometime too little of the right kind.  Life is a balance…it all needs to be incorporated…

I flour the counter…my mind back on the task at hand… taking dough from the bowl I sink my hands into it for moment …. silly feeling…now my fingers find their rhythm…and I gather it up ….kneading the dough, turning it over and over ..pushing and pulling it….working out the lumps and bumps…a gentle rhythm…letting the air escape…..it feels good to work the dough… it feels good to make life smooth…all the little things from the past week that seemed so difficult, uncomfortable and messy are now in their proper perspective ….they are all part of my life….and I am capable of working them out…working them in…seeing them for what they are…necessary parts of the life I am creating…with my own two hands …

I knead ….calm returns…dreams return….I ‘need’ the calm…I ‘need’ my dreams…while the dough rises and the kitchen is filled with the smell of fresh bread dough, my mental checklist begins.  Why, why-not? What is real?  What is really necessary? Why-not? Always coming back to my dreams…

Given time and warmth the bread rises; even after the mid-way punch-down, it will rise again!  Dreams that sift in and out of our lives, given patience, time, and the right environment can grow and become real.  The bread is now ready to bake.  Making permanent the shape, the flavor, the texture …the smell permeates the house….inhale…smile…anticipation…a dream realized…large or small…a few simple ingredients, nothing complex ….some work and attention… patience… perseverance… and success! Perhaps success that only I alone can savor…and the joy of a dream realized fills my soul.  I smile...

I hope you always find dreams to bring to life …over and over in life…I hope you make the time to bring them to life…scrounge around for them in your heart and in your soul …gather up who, and what, you need…and then …gently knead…

365 sunrises have passed….

How many of those did you greet with wonder and anticipation of the brand new day before you; each new day a blank slate just waiting for you to etch you hopes and dreams upon it and create warm memories? 

 365 sunsets have passed….

          How many of those found peace in your heart as you reflected upon the day just ending?  How many found you whispering ‘sweet dreams’ into a child’s ear?  How many found you telling those you love how much they mean to you?

365 days are gifted to us each year….

      Opportunities to smile;
                        reach out and make someone’s day                

      Opportunities to listen;
                        to be present in the lives of others

Open each day, each gift, with wonder and awe; with joy and thankfulness; with love…treasure it…nurture it…wrap it and share with others!

Endless?…..no … not endless…. but ‘numbered’ days remain

          To be kind to one another

                       To say ‘ I love you ‘

                                    To act, to speak, to share, to love ….
 

Numbered days …

each sunrise precious, each sunset memorable, the life we live and each life we touch immeasurably valued.

 

Make the most of your New Year!

Happy 2013…day by day

    my love to you all ….. Louise    

power ....

a thought
           creates a reality
                      
it is difficult to rein in thoughts ...they run away from us in dreams, in planning our day, our lives, the lives of others...

a thought is intangible and yet a single thought can become the pebble that sends ripples out across the pond, the ocean, the universe...colliding with the thoughts of others...

is a simple thought like the 'Schrodinger's Cat phenomenom'? could it be that fragile and that powerful all at once?

yet how unaware of this power we remain

how little of the brain we understand...and even less of the universe surrounding us

how much there is to ponder...
      how care-full we need to be

how will my thoughts affect your reality?  how could they destroy mine?

somewhere between here and there, we have met before, perhaps many, many times

 - and the pleasure was all mine...

http://www.physlink.com/education/askexperts/ae179.cfm

The link between reality and observation is based on what has been called the 'Copenhagen Interpretation' of quantum mechanics because it was proposed by Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, and other physicists working in that city. A more colorful and memorable reference, however, is probably one based on a thought experiment. That experiment puts a cat in a box with a device triggered by a single particle's quantum behavior. The device, if activated, kills the cat. Since quantum theory says that the particle's behavior is indeterminate until its probability wave 'collapses' upon observation, the cat can be considered both alive and dead at the same time until the box is opened and one or the other condition is observed.

by definition

Zombie:  as defined by dictionary.reference.com

a. the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.  
~~~

...the meds are working less and less these days...no one knows...i walk through life and no one sees or hears...it is not that they do not care...they just do not see...they do not hear...weekdays are tolerable...there are "have to's"...weekends, not so much.  The "have to's" on weekends are spaced far apart...existence is boredom, tears, self reflection of the not-so-helpful-kind.  Alive but not living.

Zombie? 

...the part i stumble over is the 'evil purpose'.  is self-destruction of a life the ultimate evil purpose? 

There are no Gaps in Love

At a memorial ceremony earlier today ...a woman came up to me and said that she felt ashamed....that she had not done enough before, or after, her relatives death. 

I replied that 'there are no gaps in love'.

I thought about that all the way home.  I too had been feeling that I had not been enough, or done enough, before or after.  I had explained to the woman that she was there during an emergency when she was needed the most...that without thought, she responded to a call for help from her family.  I reminded her that loved ones often lose touch over vast amounts of time...distance...differences.  The love that connects us to one another never dies.  When needed, that bond helps us to return to where we are needed most.  Afterwards, life silently takes us back...back to the day-to-day routines, to the center of where we are supposed to then be.

There are no gaps in love. 

There is no reason for shame; only for joy in the times shared, the memories made, the paths crossed.  Love exists outside of the world that captures our immediate attention each minute.  Love can end up looking like threads in a spider web, with all it's twists and turns and connections!  Love lasts longer than life; is stronger than we think; makes us whole in ways we never imagined.

Do not shrink from love - accept and extend it.  Do not feel shame in not having loved enough...a little goes a long way.  Do not fear that unspoken love is not felt, or heard...love is part of the air we breathe...part of the life we live...invisibly ever present.

Wisdom

Mother’s look down from heaven …with eyes shining kindness and hearts filled with unconditional love. Mothers in heaven know….they know all of the times we were too proud to say we were wrong…they know all the “I’m sorry”s we never said. They know all the times, deep in our hearts, when we whispered ‘I love you’

...silently..unpoken.

Mothers in heaven know our deepest fears and our highest hopes. They know we call for them when we are afraid no matter how old we are. They forgive all things, accept all things, and understand all things.

Mothers in heaven are surrounded by women from all time; their mothers, their grandmothers …women who have lived lives they could only imagine…past, present and future. Wisdom abounds!

There is no need to feel that you have left something unspoken…no need to feel there was a final hug, apology, or ‘I love you’ that was missed. Mothers are there…forever…sharing the knowledge that unconditional love and forgiveness flows up and down generations long after a final breath has been taken. Take comfort in this.

Take a moment each day to send love to your mothers.

In your own way.

As best you can.

It is never too late…


…and if you cannot,

trust that they understand

and love you none-the-less


because they do….they always do ….

and the water washed it all away ....

put money in
spin the wheel
the guilt pays out over and over
piling up a debt that can never be repaid
...but it 'feels' like a win

the coins tumble in
the wheels spin
and you continue to 'win'
covered in imagined sin

covered in guilt
covered in lies told to yourself
because you know no better
because you cannot see through the grime
to see your life is no crime
and you still have more time
to

j
u
m
p

into the

water ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

sink to the bottom
and spring back to the surface
float naked as the water glistens in the sunlight

now you stand and look in the mirror
to see that the water has washed it all away
and the truth is looking back
you are who you see
your eyes can see
....the darkness covering each lens has been washed away

you see the spirit within
no flesh
no bones
no mental interference

just light

the light you long to share
the light you long to wear

the essence of who you are
the essence of what the world sees

it is all before your eyes
it is all around you
inside and out

because the water washed the rest away


See it ................Feel it
Believe it ...........Love it
Live it.

mirrors and photographs
i look and cry ......
is the reflection i see only skin deep while a spirit and soul remain unseen
two-dimensions
staring back
in a multidimentional world

will rose-colored glasses allow the soul to pop?

how can i sense spirit with just my eyes? tactile deprived...i stare

i close my eyes

memories flood my senses
...this is what feeds me as night descends

(http://www.facebook.com/#!/emersonquinnphoto?sk=app_106171216118819)

simple .....?

MY mission.....to get a small gas can, some sta-bil, 2.5 gallons of gas .....drive to a friends house and winterize a car gas tank.

Step 1: go to Auto Parts store and get the ingredients. the gas can was no problem; bright red it caught my eye immediately - and i selected the smallest, cheapest one for this one-time chore. looking all over, i was unable to find the dry gas/sta-bil. after finally asking for 'directions', i had my 2nd ingredient and cashed out.

Step 2. put gas in the can. how much easier can this be? after (with some degree of difficulty) removing the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap, i removed the inverted nozzle and small round tab; filled the can and ......dilemma!!! i did not want to insert the nozzle inverted into the gas (thinking i would get 'gassy' when trying to pour the gas into the car shortly) i recalled the small round tab that i also removed ..... hmmmmm... this must be the temporary cover ! i placed it over the hole, and began screwing the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap back onto the can. slight problem ... the round tab was loose and sliding around, AND i had mis-threaded the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap while screwing it back on. not to be deterred, i thought 'perhaps the looseness is really the need for 'breathing' room for the gas. into my trunk went the can, the nozzle and my fervent hopes that the 10-mile drive would be uneventful.

before we get to step 3, i would like to point out that the fumes from the gas can permeated the car before i even left the gas station. windows were opened, and had it been a warm enough day, my convertible top would have sprung open. (sad to say those roofs have a temperature sensor that has annoyed me on more that one occasion of need!)

10 miles later and with a budding fume-headache i arrive at my destination.

Step 3. i have inhaled enough fumes to have already forgotten that i could not unscrew the gas cap at the gas station ... now i am enjoying my 'Groundhog Day' moment as i try to unscrew the top to apply the nozzle and pour the gas into the car. After 30 unsuccessful moments i am ready to cry. in the garage, unseen, i am plotting my redemption. one neighbor fixes cars - surely he can see my predicament ....well....most likely not as i am surrounded by garage walls and in this case... not going to give up and ask for help. i set the nozzle and sta-bil on the shelf, the can on the floor, and head out.

time for plan B.

i decide to bring a kitchen knife and saw off the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism that engulfs the cap!!! Halloween at noon (by now i have worried all weekend that some random smoking trick-or-treater will serendipitously throw their butt in the direction of what i can only imagine is the fume filled garage in anger over the lack of treats at that house) i drive over with 2 small screwdrivers for leverage and a sharp kitchen knife.

the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap is STRONG! it takes me a good 15 minutes to saw off the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism. success!!! i measure the correct amount of sta-bil, pour it into the gas can, attach the nozzle and screw on the top. i am almost there .....

alas...there is another child-proof-green 'lock' on the freakin' nozzle. i actually pause to try to read (and understand) the instructions. now i wear glasses and am getting old to boot! i practically need a different pair of glasses for ever few inches of distance. and i am pretty angry about another 'lock'...so my internal vision has become clouded. i try, and try and try...but cannot get the gas to come out ......

time for plan B+

i head back to work, say lots of prayers that the neighborhood has instituted a pretty strong no-smoking initiative ......and decide i need a funnel with a long spout to finally accomplish this task.

a week later i have now purchased the funnel and will be heading over to complete this tiny, simple task .......

voila!

the smell of gas still premeates my car because it did spill in the trunk - but i remain hopeful that by Spring, it will have worn itself out.

Thanks Giving (2011)

Thank you for getting up each day;
for doing the work you do;
for being the person you are.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts;
sharing your home;
sharing your sustenance;
sharing your life
with those you love…with those you care about.

Thank you for fighting the battles you fight each day;
for keeping the peace;
for navigating the dilemmas that face you often.

Thank you for being there to lend a hand;
to listen to a story;
to notice the good in each person
and to see the injustices in the world.

Thank you for your inner beauty;
your inner strength;
and your outer effort
to take life step-by-step,
moment-by-moment.

Thank you for being gentle with yourself;
for your tears of sorrow and of joy;
for your resolve to never give up;
and for your unconditional love
towards everyone.

Thank you …
the gift of your life
is a true blessing

2011 (la)

Yoonok

A friend of mine passed away in September this year. She was an eclectic person… she was someone born to live both a difficult and a blessed life.

As a child, her memory recorded the fascinations of the world growing up as every child does; she stored away the teachings of her mother and absorbed the wisdom of her grandmother. She grew in the love of her family, her siblings and of her surroundings in South Korea.

Yoonok came to the USA to pursue her dream of getting a PhD. She not only mastered the language here, she excelled at her studies and was awarded her PhD after many, many years of hard work and dedication.

Shortly after, a medical crisis prevented her from living out this particular dream. Not one to be inactive, Yoonok took up gardening and used her childhood memories, her mothers love and her grandmother’s wisdom to develop a new philosophy of life. She spent her remaining days teaching others the blessings of simple, natural foods…peaceful thoughts…and of evaluating life with a calm perspective.

She taught everyone she knew the healing art of self forgiveness. She elicited followers in her quest to educate all people about the inherent global need for unconditional love; as well as the need to lavish kindness and forgiveness on every person - everywhere.

Yoonok’s dream blossomed in her garden; it expanded with her multi-cultural research; and she poured it all into her healing recipes, her writings and her ‘happy’ garden.

Not everyone is a gardener … we must all find our own path in life. What ever we ‘plant’…we need to nurture…we need to feed…we need to love. Whatever we do we need to put forth our best selves…gather like minds…encourage like souls…grow the piece of the world we are responsible for. Make our corner strong, peaceful, welcoming, loving, accepting and most of all forgiving.

If your niche is music – make it, write it, share it, sing it…listen to it…openly welcome others…learn from each other. Are you a healer? Do you work with wood? Do you draw, bake, drive, dance, jump, take pictures??? Are you present…can you tell the stories of others…? Can you hold a friend’s hand silently?

Everyone “IS” …everyone “DOES”…everyone “CAN” be the piece that has been missing in someone’s life. Forgive…always forgive. Love …unconditionally love. Most of all, just Do it! It needs to get done…

link to a friend ...

http://www.badcartridge.com/alt-tabbed-wow-for-noobs/

check out Heath's (aka Zhane's) WOW cartoon - and his other posts ....

How little it takes ....

There is the saying about the camel .. you know, the one straw that finally broke the camel's back..that whole concept works in reverse also. How little it takes to make a person smile, or feel heard, or feel loved.
Miniscule things we do every day can make or break a person. You never know what is going on in another person's life at the moment you tell them how dumb they are or how nice their haircut looks.
Sometimes just the act of "noticing" can mean a great deal; or not noticing ...

random strangers, co-workers, friends, family

how little it takes ... and how much power we each wield to do more than a little
harm ... or ... good ... or ... indifference
in our world --- in the lives of those we pass
in the hearts of those we love

Dad

When I was little, I looked ”up” to you for the simple reason that you were so much taller than I was. Over time, as I began to interact in the world more, I looked to you to learn the Golden Rule. I saw neighborhood kids who respected you for your strength in knowing what was wrong and what was right. We all knew that if something was happening, you would be the one to set it right.

I remember our 4H club; all the things you taught us; the places we went; the experiences we had. I loved the fairs where we could show off our animals, crafts, art-work, vegetables, flowers ….you taught us to take pride in hard work brought to fruition.

There were the Doodle-bug pulls…the mini-bikes….snowmobiles. Time at Lake Bomoseen swimming, learning to row, drive a motor boat, playing for hours in the water with a swamped wooden boat. Drives at dusk looking for deer….

Days of weeding, pulling dandelions (getting paid by the bushel), picking vegetables, flowers and fruit to sell. Sunday drives to nowhere with a hidden snack in the glove compartment stopping for cider and apples. Learning archery, how to shoot a gun, how to make a birdfeeder, woodworking, how to repair broken things we valued. Having our own cider press so we could make the freshest and best cider ever. Learning to drive a car in the field our back, driving tractors and lawnmowers. Having a tire swing…a Fort in our backyard to play in…

You taught us, by example, to be strong and self-sufficient. We learned to be critical thinkers and to keep up with what is going on in the world. We learned economics by selling farm goods in front of the house. We learned ….many, many lessons to get us through everyday life. Too many to remember and write on this paper.

The Christmas tree farm was a lesson in long-term planning. It takes many seasons to grow a tree. Knowing that the payout was not immediate, but the work still must be done daily, weekly, yearly was a great lesson in life. Raising children is a bit like growing Christmas trees; a lot of work, a bit of pruning, good soil, some water… and eventually they go on to serve their purpose in life.

As an adult I still look up to you – you are still taller than I, but that is not the reason. I look up to you and the life you lived because you have lived an honorable life. You worked hard at your job, raised wonderful organic gardens and a family that I am proud to belong to. You went on to raise Christmas trees, build toys for children in the hospital, and stand tall for the things you believe in. You have mentored many children, not just your own. You are both a father and a friend to cousin Jack.

Best of all you are my dad.

Thank you!
Love always …