power ....

a thought
           creates a reality
                      
it is difficult to rein in thoughts ...they run away from us in dreams, in planning our day, our lives, the lives of others...

a thought is intangible and yet a single thought can become the pebble that sends ripples out across the pond, the ocean, the universe...colliding with the thoughts of others...

is a simple thought like the 'Schrodinger's Cat phenomenom'? could it be that fragile and that powerful all at once?

yet how unaware of this power we remain

how little of the brain we understand...and even less of the universe surrounding us

how much there is to ponder...
      how care-full we need to be

how will my thoughts affect your reality?  how could they destroy mine?

somewhere between here and there, we have met before, perhaps many, many times

 - and the pleasure was all mine...

http://www.physlink.com/education/askexperts/ae179.cfm

The link between reality and observation is based on what has been called the 'Copenhagen Interpretation' of quantum mechanics because it was proposed by Niels Bohr, Werner Heisenberg, and other physicists working in that city. A more colorful and memorable reference, however, is probably one based on a thought experiment. That experiment puts a cat in a box with a device triggered by a single particle's quantum behavior. The device, if activated, kills the cat. Since quantum theory says that the particle's behavior is indeterminate until its probability wave 'collapses' upon observation, the cat can be considered both alive and dead at the same time until the box is opened and one or the other condition is observed.

by definition

Zombie:  as defined by dictionary.reference.com

a. the body of a dead person given the semblance of life, but mute and will-less, by a supernatural force, usually for some evil purpose.  
~~~

...the meds are working less and less these days...no one knows...i walk through life and no one sees or hears...it is not that they do not care...they just do not see...they do not hear...weekdays are tolerable...there are "have to's"...weekends, not so much.  The "have to's" on weekends are spaced far apart...existence is boredom, tears, self reflection of the not-so-helpful-kind.  Alive but not living.

Zombie? 

...the part i stumble over is the 'evil purpose'.  is self-destruction of a life the ultimate evil purpose? 

There are no Gaps in Love

At a memorial ceremony earlier today ...a woman came up to me and said that she felt ashamed....that she had not done enough before, or after, her relatives death. 

I replied that 'there are no gaps in love'.

I thought about that all the way home.  I too had been feeling that I had not been enough, or done enough, before or after.  I had explained to the woman that she was there during an emergency when she was needed the most...that without thought, she responded to a call for help from her family.  I reminded her that loved ones often lose touch over vast amounts of time...distance...differences.  The love that connects us to one another never dies.  When needed, that bond helps us to return to where we are needed most.  Afterwards, life silently takes us back...back to the day-to-day routines, to the center of where we are supposed to then be.

There are no gaps in love. 

There is no reason for shame; only for joy in the times shared, the memories made, the paths crossed.  Love exists outside of the world that captures our immediate attention each minute.  Love can end up looking like threads in a spider web, with all it's twists and turns and connections!  Love lasts longer than life; is stronger than we think; makes us whole in ways we never imagined.

Do not shrink from love - accept and extend it.  Do not feel shame in not having loved enough...a little goes a long way.  Do not fear that unspoken love is not felt, or heard...love is part of the air we breathe...part of the life we live...invisibly ever present.

Wisdom

Mother’s look down from heaven …with eyes shining kindness and hearts filled with unconditional love. Mothers in heaven know….they know all of the times we were too proud to say we were wrong…they know all the “I’m sorry”s we never said. They know all the times, deep in our hearts, when we whispered ‘I love you’

...silently..unpoken.

Mothers in heaven know our deepest fears and our highest hopes. They know we call for them when we are afraid no matter how old we are. They forgive all things, accept all things, and understand all things.

Mothers in heaven are surrounded by women from all time; their mothers, their grandmothers …women who have lived lives they could only imagine…past, present and future. Wisdom abounds!

There is no need to feel that you have left something unspoken…no need to feel there was a final hug, apology, or ‘I love you’ that was missed. Mothers are there…forever…sharing the knowledge that unconditional love and forgiveness flows up and down generations long after a final breath has been taken. Take comfort in this.

Take a moment each day to send love to your mothers.

In your own way.

As best you can.

It is never too late…


…and if you cannot,

trust that they understand

and love you none-the-less


because they do….they always do ….

and the water washed it all away ....

put money in
spin the wheel
the guilt pays out over and over
piling up a debt that can never be repaid
...but it 'feels' like a win

the coins tumble in
the wheels spin
and you continue to 'win'
covered in imagined sin

covered in guilt
covered in lies told to yourself
because you know no better
because you cannot see through the grime
to see your life is no crime
and you still have more time
to

j
u
m
p

into the

water ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

sink to the bottom
and spring back to the surface
float naked as the water glistens in the sunlight

now you stand and look in the mirror
to see that the water has washed it all away
and the truth is looking back
you are who you see
your eyes can see
....the darkness covering each lens has been washed away

you see the spirit within
no flesh
no bones
no mental interference

just light

the light you long to share
the light you long to wear

the essence of who you are
the essence of what the world sees

it is all before your eyes
it is all around you
inside and out

because the water washed the rest away


See it ................Feel it
Believe it ...........Love it
Live it.

mirrors and photographs
i look and cry ......
is the reflection i see only skin deep while a spirit and soul remain unseen
two-dimensions
staring back
in a multidimentional world

will rose-colored glasses allow the soul to pop?

how can i sense spirit with just my eyes? tactile deprived...i stare

i close my eyes

memories flood my senses
...this is what feeds me as night descends

(http://www.facebook.com/#!/emersonquinnphoto?sk=app_106171216118819)

simple .....?

MY mission.....to get a small gas can, some sta-bil, 2.5 gallons of gas .....drive to a friends house and winterize a car gas tank.

Step 1: go to Auto Parts store and get the ingredients. the gas can was no problem; bright red it caught my eye immediately - and i selected the smallest, cheapest one for this one-time chore. looking all over, i was unable to find the dry gas/sta-bil. after finally asking for 'directions', i had my 2nd ingredient and cashed out.

Step 2. put gas in the can. how much easier can this be? after (with some degree of difficulty) removing the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap, i removed the inverted nozzle and small round tab; filled the can and ......dilemma!!! i did not want to insert the nozzle inverted into the gas (thinking i would get 'gassy' when trying to pour the gas into the car shortly) i recalled the small round tab that i also removed ..... hmmmmm... this must be the temporary cover ! i placed it over the hole, and began screwing the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap back onto the can. slight problem ... the round tab was loose and sliding around, AND i had mis-threaded the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap while screwing it back on. not to be deterred, i thought 'perhaps the looseness is really the need for 'breathing' room for the gas. into my trunk went the can, the nozzle and my fervent hopes that the 10-mile drive would be uneventful.

before we get to step 3, i would like to point out that the fumes from the gas can permeated the car before i even left the gas station. windows were opened, and had it been a warm enough day, my convertible top would have sprung open. (sad to say those roofs have a temperature sensor that has annoyed me on more that one occasion of need!)

10 miles later and with a budding fume-headache i arrive at my destination.

Step 3. i have inhaled enough fumes to have already forgotten that i could not unscrew the gas cap at the gas station ... now i am enjoying my 'Groundhog Day' moment as i try to unscrew the top to apply the nozzle and pour the gas into the car. After 30 unsuccessful moments i am ready to cry. in the garage, unseen, i am plotting my redemption. one neighbor fixes cars - surely he can see my predicament ....well....most likely not as i am surrounded by garage walls and in this case... not going to give up and ask for help. i set the nozzle and sta-bil on the shelf, the can on the floor, and head out.

time for plan B.

i decide to bring a kitchen knife and saw off the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism that engulfs the cap!!! Halloween at noon (by now i have worried all weekend that some random smoking trick-or-treater will serendipitously throw their butt in the direction of what i can only imagine is the fume filled garage in anger over the lack of treats at that house) i drive over with 2 small screwdrivers for leverage and a sharp kitchen knife.

the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism-engulfed-gas-cap is STRONG! it takes me a good 15 minutes to saw off the plastic-childproof-locking-mechanism. success!!! i measure the correct amount of sta-bil, pour it into the gas can, attach the nozzle and screw on the top. i am almost there .....

alas...there is another child-proof-green 'lock' on the freakin' nozzle. i actually pause to try to read (and understand) the instructions. now i wear glasses and am getting old to boot! i practically need a different pair of glasses for ever few inches of distance. and i am pretty angry about another 'lock'...so my internal vision has become clouded. i try, and try and try...but cannot get the gas to come out ......

time for plan B+

i head back to work, say lots of prayers that the neighborhood has instituted a pretty strong no-smoking initiative ......and decide i need a funnel with a long spout to finally accomplish this task.

a week later i have now purchased the funnel and will be heading over to complete this tiny, simple task .......

voila!

the smell of gas still premeates my car because it did spill in the trunk - but i remain hopeful that by Spring, it will have worn itself out.