In the end
Funeral weekend ….full of sadness and tears…moments of laughter and smiles … reunions …old patterns replayed …memories re-shared …hurts forgiven…and some not.
When first looking around the chapel at the people gathered, I see my aunt’s family and friends ... I label the faces …sometimes passing judgment with the identifying adjectives I use. Making note of who I remember and in what context I perceive them.
The service starts. Her faith practiced ceremony in a way unfamiliar to most of my family. The hushed tones sharing comments on the service, the amount of incense, and the repetition of verse, the incantations in song… reach my ears. I am curious, a student of ceremony, hoping to pick up some new ideas and to learn more about the comfort found in rituals. It is different – it is my Aunt – it is exactly what it should be to honor her.
The second time I look around the chapel, I see something different. I see people who were a part of my Aunt’s long life. I see people who loved my aunt and shared her life in many different ways. I see people whom my aunt loved. The critical adjectives that came so naturally to mind earlier have been replaced with an inner sense that these people gathered here reflect the love given and received during her life.
Each of the people present, as well as those unable to attend, made my Aunt smile; they provided her joy; they provided her with gossip to share; they comforted her; they filled her life with meaning and love. Looking around the room that second time, I see fragile human beings who shared their gifts with my Aunt; wanting to love and be loved by her.
Not everyone comes into our lives offering the same gift. Some people have more time, money, compassion, music, intellect, philosophy, energy …the list of potential gifts is endless. There is one gift we all possess, one gift we all can share at any time, with any one. That is the gift of love and compassion. When I look at people I will harder in the future to see the love and compassion that is part of their inner self. These two labels are all I need, realizing that any other label is short-sighted. I will try to look around any room and see beyond first impressions, long forgotten offenses, and superficial judgments. I will try to see the love that is present.
Funerals make us nostalgic. I long for broken connections with family and friends to be healed. I hope that whenever I think of my Aunt, I am reminded of the lesson I re-learned at her funeral. In the end, there is only love.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Aunt Flo
Aunt Flo;
Hi. I know you are sleeping…I hope you are at peace.
I remember when you told me that you were looking forward to seeing your Mom & Dad some day ..I know they will be waiting to see you, too, with open arms, and lots of Hugs and Kisses. I can imagine how proud they are of you.
You have been the matriarch of the Alberti family for many decades, being kind and generous to all your siblings and their families. Grandpa Alberti died when I was only 1 and Grandma Alberti before I was in school. You have always been my ‘grandma Alberti’. You took us to the Ice Capades – alternating turns with our cousins. You took us to Christmas parties …You brought us back surprises from Hawaii, and other trips you went on. I still have the lava necklace you brought back after a trip to Hawaii. (I think we got grass skirts too !)
In our family, Di is often referred to as the ‘fun-aunt’. I think you are the ‘fun-aunt’ from the Alberti clan. Your sisters and brothers were wonderful aunts and uncles in their own right. You had a life that was just different enough from us as kids to be exotic and exciting. You are a wonderful person, you have looked out for all of us in similar-but-different ways.
Your Mom and Dad will tell you how much they love you when they see you. You will get to be with all of your family and friends who are waiting to see you again. You will definitely be “in-the-know”; I think of heaven as a place where we finally understand all the things we did not understand about this life and about other people when we were alive. We finally get to see why we truly should love one another unconditionally. We can see the frailty of being human and we can see ourselves in every living thing. I think we will forgive ourselves, and others, for being “human”… that IS why we are here, after all …to be human. I think heaven is all about love…
I think in the end, life is all about love. Death is just a word …love is eternal.
May you see your loved ones again soon and may your journey be sweet.
Love
Lou
2/11/2007
Hi. I know you are sleeping…I hope you are at peace.
I remember when you told me that you were looking forward to seeing your Mom & Dad some day ..I know they will be waiting to see you, too, with open arms, and lots of Hugs and Kisses. I can imagine how proud they are of you.
You have been the matriarch of the Alberti family for many decades, being kind and generous to all your siblings and their families. Grandpa Alberti died when I was only 1 and Grandma Alberti before I was in school. You have always been my ‘grandma Alberti’. You took us to the Ice Capades – alternating turns with our cousins. You took us to Christmas parties …You brought us back surprises from Hawaii, and other trips you went on. I still have the lava necklace you brought back after a trip to Hawaii. (I think we got grass skirts too !)
In our family, Di is often referred to as the ‘fun-aunt’. I think you are the ‘fun-aunt’ from the Alberti clan. Your sisters and brothers were wonderful aunts and uncles in their own right. You had a life that was just different enough from us as kids to be exotic and exciting. You are a wonderful person, you have looked out for all of us in similar-but-different ways.
Your Mom and Dad will tell you how much they love you when they see you. You will get to be with all of your family and friends who are waiting to see you again. You will definitely be “in-the-know”; I think of heaven as a place where we finally understand all the things we did not understand about this life and about other people when we were alive. We finally get to see why we truly should love one another unconditionally. We can see the frailty of being human and we can see ourselves in every living thing. I think we will forgive ourselves, and others, for being “human”… that IS why we are here, after all …to be human. I think heaven is all about love…
I think in the end, life is all about love. Death is just a word …love is eternal.
May you see your loved ones again soon and may your journey be sweet.
Love
Lou
2/11/2007
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas 2006
Mothers are often hard at work, 24/7, not always in the foreground of what is going on. You hold things together; make sure everything gets done – properly and on time. You can take a dollar and make it do amazing things for a large family. You manage budgets, schedules, car-pools, shopping, cooking, cleaning and everything else with a silent commitment, and total dedication, to your family.
You know each of your children better than they often know themselves. You love them because you can see that they have pure hearts even if their actions falter in life. You forgive; you forget; you carry on. You hold the hopes and fears of your own childhood close as you reassure each of us in our times of uncertainty.
You are what we all aspire to be; a loving, kind person; one who took life and made it better every step of the way. I admire your strength; your open heart; your creativity; your love. I am grateful for everything you gave to me and taught me. I am generous only because I watched your generosity and selflessness growing up. I aspire to love and honor all people because I saw that you were a fair and kind woman. I see strength and patience in you that I still have not mastered.
Merry Christmas – 2006 – Mom
May life surround you with blessings always --- Love, Lou
You know each of your children better than they often know themselves. You love them because you can see that they have pure hearts even if their actions falter in life. You forgive; you forget; you carry on. You hold the hopes and fears of your own childhood close as you reassure each of us in our times of uncertainty.
You are what we all aspire to be; a loving, kind person; one who took life and made it better every step of the way. I admire your strength; your open heart; your creativity; your love. I am grateful for everything you gave to me and taught me. I am generous only because I watched your generosity and selflessness growing up. I aspire to love and honor all people because I saw that you were a fair and kind woman. I see strength and patience in you that I still have not mastered.
Merry Christmas – 2006 – Mom
May life surround you with blessings always --- Love, Lou
Bowls ...( Christmas 2006 )
Bowls – fashioned from wood – each unique – wood from different parts of the world – all brought together by the hands of a craftsman.
Bowls – made from pieces of wood carefully glued together – allowed to dry and set – each step of the process taking time and patience.
Bowls – layers stacked upon layers – carefully cut – turned – shaped – sanded – each lovingly created for a friend, a child, a relative.
Bowls – not empty when complete – but full of the love and time and attention of the craftsman who dreamed them in his imagination, fashioned them with his hands and tools, and gives them with the love in his heart.
Bowls – pieces of wood – a story being told – a life being lived – a heart speaking softly.
Merry Christmas Dad ….2006
Love, Lou
Bowls – made from pieces of wood carefully glued together – allowed to dry and set – each step of the process taking time and patience.
Bowls – layers stacked upon layers – carefully cut – turned – shaped – sanded – each lovingly created for a friend, a child, a relative.
Bowls – not empty when complete – but full of the love and time and attention of the craftsman who dreamed them in his imagination, fashioned them with his hands and tools, and gives them with the love in his heart.
Bowls – pieces of wood – a story being told – a life being lived – a heart speaking softly.
Merry Christmas Dad ….2006
Love, Lou
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Christmas 2004
Holidays --- whatever your pleasure, I am sure there have been days (or years, or decades ..) of holiday stress falling at this time of year. Running around trying to meet all your expectations for the holidays, and meet everyone else’s, can easily become a fast moving treadmill where you never catch the carrot hanging just out of your reach. There are the years I have shopped, wrapped presents and mailed cards by December 1st. There are years when I am one of those Christmas eve shoppers and I fight the lines, crowds and low inventory trying to tie things up. There have been years when I mailed things too late and blamed the poor post office for the delay to save face.
I have long thought that it would be nice to pick a couple people from my list each month during the year and remember them in some special way that month . . . there by allowing me to cross them off my “end-of-year-how-can-I-do-it-all” list. I love to give, but the pressure of doing so for everyone I love and care about in a short season each year leaves me frazzled.
This year my Holiday cards only got partially sent – I think I made it up to the G’s in my address book. This year I will be out on December 24th finishing up a few last minute items. This year I will hit the post office on December 22nd in an effort to get one last package to its destination before the New Year. This year I had my annual holiday melt-down and took inventory of what is most important.
A few years ago I read an article that asked a person to change just one little word in the way they speak about the things that they feel they HAVE to do. It said to change the word “HAVE” to “GET”. Instead of “I have to bake (shop, visit, wrap, buy, etc..)” say “I GET to ….(bake, shop wrap, etc.)”.
As this season comes to a close I am reflecting on the things I felt that I HAD to do with a new outlook. I did not HAVE to buy gifts – I GOT to share my love and appreciation with friends and family through tiny tokens; tokens that do not even come close to reflecting what these people mean to me in my life.
I did not HAVE to visit people at this time of year – I GOT to see friends, near and far, who I may only get to see once a year. The Holidays are a reminder that I should not let another year end without touching base with these people I love from times past and present.
I did not HAVE to bake, or make trinkets for others. I GOT to give people a little glimpse of the child within me who still likes to do simple arts and crafts, or who loves to play with food.
I did not HAVE to make time to visit friends and family, nursing homes or hospitals – I GOT to see people at their best and worst and somewhere in between – and I GOT to remind them that I am here for them and still hold them dear in my heart.
Everyone I have met is a part of my life and in some way a part of who I have become. During the upcoming year I hope I GET more opportunities to let them all know just how much they mean to me in a variety of ways. I hope I GET more opportunities throughout the year to show them my concern, care and love for them – not just at the close of each calendar year. I hope I GET to add more friends and family into my life’s circle so that it, and I, expand in understanding and compassion. I do not HAVE to be grateful, but I am blessed that I have people and experiences in my life to grateful for – every day.
Love,
Louise
I have long thought that it would be nice to pick a couple people from my list each month during the year and remember them in some special way that month . . . there by allowing me to cross them off my “end-of-year-how-can-I-do-it-all” list. I love to give, but the pressure of doing so for everyone I love and care about in a short season each year leaves me frazzled.
This year my Holiday cards only got partially sent – I think I made it up to the G’s in my address book. This year I will be out on December 24th finishing up a few last minute items. This year I will hit the post office on December 22nd in an effort to get one last package to its destination before the New Year. This year I had my annual holiday melt-down and took inventory of what is most important.
A few years ago I read an article that asked a person to change just one little word in the way they speak about the things that they feel they HAVE to do. It said to change the word “HAVE” to “GET”. Instead of “I have to bake (shop, visit, wrap, buy, etc..)” say “I GET to ….(bake, shop wrap, etc.)”.
As this season comes to a close I am reflecting on the things I felt that I HAD to do with a new outlook. I did not HAVE to buy gifts – I GOT to share my love and appreciation with friends and family through tiny tokens; tokens that do not even come close to reflecting what these people mean to me in my life.
I did not HAVE to visit people at this time of year – I GOT to see friends, near and far, who I may only get to see once a year. The Holidays are a reminder that I should not let another year end without touching base with these people I love from times past and present.
I did not HAVE to bake, or make trinkets for others. I GOT to give people a little glimpse of the child within me who still likes to do simple arts and crafts, or who loves to play with food.
I did not HAVE to make time to visit friends and family, nursing homes or hospitals – I GOT to see people at their best and worst and somewhere in between – and I GOT to remind them that I am here for them and still hold them dear in my heart.
Everyone I have met is a part of my life and in some way a part of who I have become. During the upcoming year I hope I GET more opportunities to let them all know just how much they mean to me in a variety of ways. I hope I GET more opportunities throughout the year to show them my concern, care and love for them – not just at the close of each calendar year. I hope I GET to add more friends and family into my life’s circle so that it, and I, expand in understanding and compassion. I do not HAVE to be grateful, but I am blessed that I have people and experiences in my life to grateful for – every day.
Love,
Louise
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