The day is
cold… bitter cold. The week has been
long and full of stress, disappointment….less joy….my breath rises before me in
a cold mist as I peer outside. All week the
needs of family, coworkers, friends permeated the air. I forget the whispering of my dreams…
I make my
way into the kitchen. All is quiet
because it is early… too early. The
canister of flour on the counter calls to me, beckoning my soul…even as the
aroma of coffee awakens my senses. It
has been a long time … too long… since I have indulged my passion.
It is all
before me…. The pieces to my dream…lying about the kitchen… out of sight…just
enough so that I never quite pull it all together. Today feels different. Today feels like the right day ….so I reach
out …and my hands find the flour…the milk…the butter and sugar…and the yeast. As the thought of my adventure warms my
heart, I warm up the milk….just enough….to entice the dormant yeast out of
hiding…it is time …for me …for the yeast…to grow and to ‘become’…
A little
sugar…enough to sweeten the dream and to feed the yeast as they awaken…as I awaken
my dormant joy again. The cold outside
is long forgotten. I have begun to
create a place in my heart and in my kitchen for a dream to emerge…a sprinkle
of flour over the warm liquids and I am ready to work …adding a bit more flour
as I stir the mixture…it is easy at first…not really work at all… letting this
dream out….
More flour…I
ponder the week that has just passed.
Work is busy…each day is like the bowl before me….it is something easily
stirred…a routine… I can close my eyes and the wooden spoon manages the flour,
mixes it together almost effortlessly…most of my life is routine…mindless.
Add a little
more flour….my stirring slows as I think about the problems of the week. These things require a little more effort to
think about; a little more effort to sort out….my stirring slows as the mixture
thickens. My thoughts slow…dreams recede
and are replaced with reality. Life can
be difficult…distracting.
It is time
for the final push, adding the remainder of the flour….my forearms tense stirring
against this thickened dough…‘life’ dealt to me this past week … sometimes too
much of the wrong kind and sometime too little of the right kind. Life is a balance…it all needs to be
incorporated…
I flour the counter…my
mind back on the task at hand… taking dough from the bowl I sink my hands into
it for moment …. silly feeling…now my fingers find their rhythm…and I gather it
up ….kneading the dough, turning it over and over ..pushing and pulling it….working
out the lumps and bumps…a gentle rhythm…letting the air escape…..it feels good to
work the dough… it feels good to make life smooth…all the little things from
the past week that seemed so difficult, uncomfortable and messy are now in
their proper perspective ….they are all part of my life….and I am capable of
working them out…working them in…seeing them for what they are…necessary parts
of the life I am creating…with my own two hands …
I knead ….calm
returns…dreams return….I ‘need’ the calm…I ‘need’ my dreams…while the dough
rises and the kitchen is filled with the smell of fresh bread dough, my mental
checklist begins. Why, why-not? What is
real? What is really necessary? Why-not?
Always coming back to my dreams…
Given time
and warmth the bread rises; even after the mid-way punch-down, it will rise
again! Dreams that sift in and out of
our lives, given patience, time, and the right environment can grow and become
real. The bread is now ready to bake. Making permanent the shape, the flavor, the
texture …the smell permeates the house….inhale…smile…anticipation…a dream
realized…large or small…a few simple ingredients, nothing complex ….some work
and attention… patience… perseverance… and success! Perhaps success that only I
alone can savor…and the joy of a dream realized fills my soul. I smile...
I hope you always find dreams to
bring to life …over and over in life…I hope you make the time to bring them to
life…scrounge around for them in your heart and in your soul …gather up who,
and what, you need…and then …gently knead…
