Star light, star bright ….

Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

Stars have, for centuries, guided sailors throughout their journeys. Stars have been wished upon by small children, and adults, alike. The light we see from stars travels trillions of miles to reach our eyes. It is a glimpse of the past; from a place far away and long ago; from a time and place we will never be able to personally witness. We look upon a shining star in the night sky and we wish upon its magical presence. Star light IS amazing.

The physical aspects of our lives and our bodies change moment by moment. Were we a trillion miles away, by the time we saw our own reflection, we would have already become someone else many times over. The challenges of today, the sorrows, the joys, would have passed, evolved, and been repeated. Remember this when you are surrounded by darkness. All things become new again …

As we head towards the end of 2010 and into 2011, I reflect on the fact that life is ever changing. I look at humanity in search of each individual’s ‘light’. Everyone has the ability to shine – an inner strength, a gift perhaps yet undiscovered. When I look for that light in a person, I see their purity, their humanity...the place we are all inherently good; where we each know we have value; where we each feel loved. Deep inside of all of us, there is such a place. It is easy to look for it in others, and forget to see it within ourselves.

Remember to see the light, the goodness, and the essence of humanity within all of those you meet; remember to see it in yourself! I am in awe of the magnificence of life and the abundance of love I see in all of you. I am truly blessed with your friendship.

I have no need to wish upon a light that has traversed the universe; I am basking in the light you have ‘shone’ on me. Namaste my friends…one and all.


Louise
2010

happiness is sometimes very quiet

…it sneaks up on you
…it is the whisper of a new day in the early dawn; before you have opened your eyes; before you have judged the day, or the weather, to be good..bad..indifferent.

…it seeps in from your toes
…standing barefoot on the wet, dewy grass; under the billowing clouds; greeted by a bird singing in the distance. It is the warmth of the sand, beseeching you to spread your toes and wiggle them; burrow them deeply; let the water wash them clean.

…it is in your eyes
…as you watch a baby laying asleep at night; as you tenderly kiss your child before school; as you watch your teen drive off to college for the first time. It mixes well with pride and kindness.

…it is pure joy
…felt only in your heart, perhaps over the most minute thing; something inexplicable; a feeling coming from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. It is expressed in a smile, in a tear, in a quickened heartbeat.

…it is a secret
…these feelings that invade our soul…feelings to be saved, savored, protected, and perhaps in the safest of environments, to be shared. It is contentment and peace realized in a single moment.

…happiness is sometimes very quiet
…yet happiness echoes loudly in our very being…resonating within…rippling throughout the universe in very quiet, very meaningful ways.

Thanksgiving - 2010

Why do we give thanks? There are a million different situations ‘when’ we give thanks; a million social situations ‘where’ we are expected to give thanks; but WHY do we give thanks those times when the thanks itself rises from our inner core?

I look at a sunrise and am thankful because it is beautiful; it is something I have no control over; I cannot create one on demand, and yet it is there every single morning greeting my day. I view an awesome sunset knowing that the darkness will soon engulf my part of the world; feeling secure that the cycle of life is as it should be. I know the stars are there – seen or unseen, and that the moon orbits close by.

There are times when I am overwhelmed with thanks for friends, family, and humanity in general. I could never have imagined all the bonds I have with people, nature, life and the oneness that we all share in this lifetime. I have no control over the atoms, the schema of life on Earth, the speed with which time travels or over the forces of nature. I am thankful that all of these processes are as they should be.

I think about all of the people I have met in my lifetime….real, virtual, shared memories of others, yet-to-know, family, friends, my child ….on the day I was born I had no idea that my life would be so full of amazing, intricate, and fluid connections. I am thankful every moment because of my connections to all of you – life flows “through” us all…it does not just stop when I receive it – it must be shared. Life, love, kindness…are nothing unless shared.

Why do I give thanks? I give thanks because I could not fill life’s gaps on my own…puzzle pieces need to fit tightly together to complete the design…I give thanks because the universe fills in the gaps when I am not even aware of it. I give thanks because where I am incomplete, you all complete me. Nature, life, friends, family and total strangers make me more than I could ever be on my own.

I give thanks because in all the things I have no control over – I am confident that things are working as they should.

I give thanks because ….

well actually, sometimes I just give thanks …

To Mom - Happy 75th Birthday !

One of the songs I most remember from childhood rides in the car with you is “You Are My Sunshine”. I remember your voice, your smile….I remember singing along…I remember the happiness of those moments, and of so many more.

Mom, you are MY sunshine! This day, and all the others before it, or yet to come, I am so grateful that you are my mother. Every memory I have radiates your love and kindness. You are the one who made growing up educational and fun. Your ability to look the other way (once in a while) allowed me to explore the fine line between growing up and being grown-up. You taught me to cook, and to share what I have with others. You taught me arts & crafts, and allowed me to see the beauty in all things – those familiar and those unfamiliar. By example, you taught me to care about others. Your own selflessness taught me the value of making others feel like they were worth the world.

I do not know if your life felt fulfilled by being our mom; by staying at home and taking care of all of us and managing the day-to-day routines necessary to make our house a home. I hope that when you look back, it feels like it was all worth it.

You managed budgets, allowances, and emergencies with the skill of a Chief Financial Officer. You organized chores and handed out responsibilities with the aptitude of a Ship’s Captain. You nursed us when we were ill and bandaged our wounds with the insight of a Doctor. You kept schedules and provided transportation with the finesse of a Dispatcher.

You provided love and wisdom,
kindness and kisses,
advice and hugs
as only a mother can….

for all of these things and for millions more, I love you Mom!

You are my sunshine.

Molly - on turning 16...

if i was magical, molly, i would make life a most wondrous journey for you to experience. there would be no hard decisions; no limits to your imagination; no heartbreaks; no loss.

if i was magical, molly, i would off you a palette of endless possibilities; each being more beautiful and fulfilling than the next; each helping you grow safely; each bringing you endless joy; each feeding your mind, body and soul.

if i was magical, molly, i would show you how to only see the beauty in life; the inner child in every human; the endless bounty of unconditional love everywhere you look.

if i was magical, molly, i would give you the sun and the stars; the earth and the moon; the universe and all of its mysteries.

(ok, AND a convertible !)

magic does not lie within any power that you or i can can acquire ...molly...the magic lies within each of us - you and me and everyone.

the magic has always been there and will always be there.

as you turn 16 my wish for you is that you never forget that you have the magic within you to see life as possibilities. embrace the frailty, humanity, and failures of every person as they struggle in their lives and continue to love them anyway. see each change in your life as a new possibility instead of a roadblock.

love yourself at all times.

happy 16th ! i love you ....

What I am currently reading ....

Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
by Malcolm Gladwell

friends

~

it is a nice thought - everyone playing and sharing in the same sandbox...
not because they " have " to ... because they want to ... because they can see the value of
cooperation vs. antagonism ... not very likely to happen long term in most cases though
ego ... so easy for ego to cloud situations

... "the good of the many outweighs the good of the few, or the one" (Star Trek)

how hard it is to step back...damage already having been done...

intentional - unintentional?

the words said...

understood - misunderstood?

things set in motion

can they be rerouted? can stories be respun?

will apologies be offered

will apologies be accepted

is there room for one more try

or has the boundary of no return been met

once

twice

again ?

what new possibilities emerge

what will be lost forever

what can be salvaged

what needs to be reclaimed and recycled

buried and forgotten

started fresh?

moving forward

together or alone

or in tandem?

build a bridge

rebuild a bond

letting go and moving on

looking back

in regret ?

while giving thanks ?

for moments shared

before the crack

slowly grew

quickly spread

and

we

all fell

into the hole together ?

"B" "o" "P"

"B" "o" "P" 'bind on pickup' ....a concept applicable to many aspects of life. A BoP item: once you touch it, (aka. pick-it-up), it is yours FOREVER. You cannot put it down, give it away, get rid of it ...it is YOURS ! The only possible ending for a BoP item is complete oblivion, final destruction... yours or it's.

Today we discuss:

BoP and children

Now let's think about some basic BoP items we see in everyday life. Children - your own biological children can be described as BoP. Once they have been created you are in for a lifetime of BoP pride and joy. From the moment of birth these tiny little creatures, smaller than a Gnome, are helpless. They will lay around Ironforge YELLING - mostly for gold, but occasionally for some refreshment. Old Spice is handy, because unless you get them up and moving, or provide them with clothing upgrades, these bad boys start to smell!

Once they are mobile, my advice is to put them on "follow" immediately. The best way to level up their maturity is to expose them to the REAL world. Take them via the Tram for an outing to Stormwind. When you arrive in SW, walk them all around to show them the sites, shops and trainers there. Tiring them out will also give you a chance to head to the Blue Recluse for a bit of adult refreshment.


After nap time, yours or theirs, head to the bank because I guarantee today will be an expensive outing. After filling your pockets with gold, try standing by the mail box a few moments. Eventually your child will receive invitations for play groups...these are referred to as 'join my guild' invitations. As any parent would do, you want to make sure your child is in the BEST possible play group. Hold out for the best offer - perhaps as much as 10G. Getting your child properly placed in these important social structures as young as possible has it's inherent advantages. Collect the cash and immediately obtain the play group t-shirt to proudly let everyone know that your child has been accepted into a most exclusive club.


If you are upper-middle class, you yourself have a multi passenger vehicle. Securely place your child in the seat, and head out through the SW gates with your progeny in tow into the nearby country side. First stop is the cat lady. Every child wants a pet, and surely one of these rabid kittens will make a nice addition to your little family. Of course, if you want your child to be an achiever, I suggest that accumulation of all possible pets and forms of transportation should start early on. So yes, I do recommend buying every single cat while you are there.

( this article is still under construction .... stay tuned .... )

" ? "

is it just imaginings
or yearnings of the heart
is my soul unsettled
am i falling quite apart

am i searching for new meanings
in a world that is surreal
am i phasing in - or out - again
just so that i can 'feel'

is it just imaginings
of things once stored away
have i lost control of them
and they've returned to play

is it time to believe once more
that pain is held at bay
is there hope for love again
before the end of day

questions, questions everywhere
no answers surely clear
my instincts lead - i follow

reaching out, i hold no fear

Goldeneagle

Goldeneagle

The sun hovered a moment longer than usual tonight;
Just before it set - one last sparkling moment of daylight;
A reminder of the warmth and the light that surrounds us.

In this moment I saw a bird rise from the horizon and soar
Not hampered by gravity; gracefully rising from the earth to the sky
Reaching for the unknown - floating beyond sight.

Moving from this world to the next - in that last gleaming light
Paused for but a moment to lovingly look back;
Grateful for the life he lived - for family and for friends.

Goldeneagle - a US veteran from Alaska died tonight after

a long battle with cancer.

He had a good heart that lives on in his family and friends.

( in memory of John Mullins July 26, 2010 )

DYSFUNCTION

DYSFUNCTION
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

The quote above is one of my favorites from Despair.com.

I have it on my desk at work, and on one of my bookshelves at home. It is a constant reminder that somewhere in the world there are most probably several people in therapy today just because of me!!! As easy as it is to blame others, or the world at large, for mishaps, I seem to have also been present for all of those events that could be described as "less than satisfying".

Now I know perfection does NOT exist; I tell myself this many times a day in a futile attempt to asuage my guilt for not being just that; perfect. I don't even come close to the letter "P" in the word. I fail with family, friends, coworkers, gaming, and neurosurgery almost daily in one way or another. (ok - so I have never tried neurosurgery, but I am SURE that would be a failure also so I do not put anyone at risk to prove my point).

I think one lesson to learn from all of this awareness might be humility. Sometimes all you can do is say you are sorry, ask forgiveness, and try to do better next time. Not as an 'excuse', but as an attempt to grow. If you are always apologizing after the fact, and repeatedly performing the same way, there is no longer meaning to your words. I struggle every day with pausing for that most important moment BEFORE I say or do something "again" .

On the other hand, it IS fun to piss off people from time to time - but I also find that mostly to be about me wanting to control the outcome ( like I don't really know what will happen lol ) or me wanting to inflict hurt when I am the one hurting.

deep breath - and pause ....

There really is value in the silence between words!

* cute * (in an email from my niece Emily)

If you wake up in a red room
with no windows and doors,
DON'T panic..

you're just in my
heart

Where do we go?

Where do we go…

when we die…

when our bodies no longer inhabit this world?

Where do we go?

Do we view a highlight reel of our lives in the waiting room between life and death? Do we cringe at the moments we wish to redo?

Do we clap when we view a kindness we shared?

Or do we wait for a moment, or an eternity, in silence?

Do we look down and count the people lost

in their tears and their memories of us?

Do we count the number of friends and relatives

who come to grieve?

Do we look back at all,

or look ahead towards the light and wonder?

Do we find ourselves surrounded by darkness?

Do we cease to exist in every way the moment we die?

When it is over, is it really over??

The mystery of death…we do not know until we experience it,

and in experiencing it we can no longer share our story.

The living find comfort in the beliefs they share.

We are in a better place…

we are no longer in pain…

we want for nothing…

our ‘spirit’ lives on.

Perhaps we are recycled and born again…

perhaps we observe the living from afar?

Perhaps … perhaps not.

Nothing makes it more apparent that we should treasure every day

than when it is one second too late.

We have heard it said a multitude of ways

- ‘we shall never pass this way again’ –

a moment cannot be relived.

Do not fear death; fear not living.

Live fully each day and love unconditionally,

like there is nothing you would rather be doing.

There really isn’t…

found this one .....Happy Father's Day to all !!!

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain

The majesty of a tree
The warmth of a summer sun

The calm of a quiet sea

The generous soul of nature

The comforting arm of night
The wisdom of the ages

The power of the eagle's flight

The joy of a morning in spring

The faith of a mustard seed
The patience of eternity

The depth of a family need

Then God combined these qualities

When there was nothing more to add
He knew His masterpiece was complete

And so, He called it ... Dad

~Author Unknown~

Gentle Reminder

Gentle Reminder

There are some human beings whose lives intersect our lives – whose very presence humbles us. Someone who every moment of the day cares so very deeply for friends and family and strangers. A person whose love stretches out across the distance, whether we measure in miles or in milliseconds. They never forget to say ‘hello’; they never forget something publically important, or privately held dear. They offer a shoulder to cry on, an arm for support, a life to share, and the deepest sincerity in all they do. They are the unsung hero; if we were to gather up all of the largest and tiniest things they have done for others during their lifetime - it would fill the universe!

There are some human beings who bring us to tears with their generosity of spirit. They tear at our hearts begging us silently to be a kinder person, a more caring human being, a person striving to live a deeper life. Gently we are reminded by the little kindnesses they show to everyone, that everything we do truly does matter. They come and go in our lives, sometimes unrecognized, but always leaving behind breadcrumbs for us to follow. Casting the seeds in our souls, asking us to see the opportunities around us for sharing …sharing a smile, sharing our hearts and sharing our tears… but most of all unconditionally sharing our hearts.

Today I was graced by the presence of one so humbly gifted. Today I am a better person for witnessing this man in action…he makes me want to be all that comes so natural to him. Thousands of miles away he lives his life. The ripples reach the farthest shore.


5/30/2010
dedicated to GRTONE
an Alaskan whose heart melts the cold
and beckons the sun to shine!

Quotes I love ...

" If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time ... But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together" - Lilla Watson

Dance Beneath the Stars

Live among the flowers
Dance beneath the stars
Travel where life takes you
No matter near or far.

Gather up life’s blessings
Drink deep from all you see
Hear the sweetest song of love
As it lifts your heart with glee.

Look up to see the future
Feel safe with earth below
Stretch your wings and fly with me
Now ‘tis the time to grow.

Come for but a moment
Please stay forever more
There lies a magic portal
Just walk through the open door.

Soft the sounds that greet you
Bare feet gently walk the floor
Feel the warmth surround you
Your heart’s bound forever more.

a phone call

Today I called a friend who is dying. She is afraid and she cries …and although she knows her life is almost over, she holds on. She is a woman of great thoughts, great insight, and great passion for justice. She has been betrayed by her body and her emotions for decades. She, as we all, will die one day. Some soon, some later; some too soon.

I think many of us walk the earth every day as if we are already dead. We have given up on ourselves; our loved ones; our joy and our hope. I am not talking about the occasional ‘blues’ we all feel. I am talking about the pervasive despair that we allow to take over every moment. I feel it… do you? I focus on the limitations, the unmet expectations - instead of the inspirations each moment provides. My glass is not only half empty, it is leaking faster than I can fill it up.
Dragging myself out of bed each day, to face another meaningless day at a ‘job’; dredging up just enough enthusiasm at just the right moment to fool those around me into thinking I am living a worthy life; wishing I could close the door, hide away, and shut out life. Does this sound familiar?

Today I called a friend who is dying. She is afraid and she cries…but I am the one who is already dead; I am the one who does not fear death; I am the one who does not cry.

What will I be tomorrow?

Sayings to savor...

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit

( * author Unknown * )