Saturday, January 26, 2013

Bread .....



The day is cold… bitter cold.  The week has been long and full of stress, disappointment….less joy….my breath rises before me in a cold mist as I peer outside.  All week the needs of family, coworkers, friends permeated the air.  I forget the whispering of my dreams…

I make my way into the kitchen.  All is quiet because it is early… too early.  The canister of flour on the counter calls to me, beckoning my soul…even as the aroma of coffee awakens my senses.  It has been a long time … too long… since I have indulged my passion.

It is all before me…. The pieces to my dream…lying about the kitchen… out of sight…just enough so that I never quite pull it all together.  Today feels different.  Today feels like the right day ….so I reach out …and my hands find the flour…the milk…the butter and sugar…and the yeast.  As the thought of my adventure warms my heart, I warm up the milk….just enough….to entice the dormant yeast out of hiding…it is time …for me …for the yeast…to grow and to ‘become’…

A little sugar…enough to sweeten the dream and to feed the yeast as they awaken…as I awaken my dormant joy again.  The cold outside is long forgotten.  I have begun to create a place in my heart and in my kitchen for a dream to emerge…a sprinkle of flour over the warm liquids and I am ready to work …adding a bit more flour as I stir the mixture…it is easy at first…not really work at all… letting this dream out….

More flour…I ponder the week that has just passed.  Work is busy…each day is like the bowl before me….it is something easily stirred…a routine… I can close my eyes and the wooden spoon manages the flour, mixes it together almost effortlessly…most of my life is routine…mindless.

Add a little more flour….my stirring slows as I think about the problems of the week.  These things require a little more effort to think about; a little more effort to sort out….my stirring slows as the mixture thickens.  My thoughts slow…dreams recede and are replaced with reality.  Life can be difficult…distracting.

It is time for the final push, adding the remainder of the flour….my forearms tense stirring against this thickened dough…‘life’ dealt to me this past week … sometimes too much of the wrong kind and sometime too little of the right kind.  Life is a balance…it all needs to be incorporated…

I flour the counter…my mind back on the task at hand… taking dough from the bowl I sink my hands into it for moment …. silly feeling…now my fingers find their rhythm…and I gather it up ….kneading the dough, turning it over and over ..pushing and pulling it….working out the lumps and bumps…a gentle rhythm…letting the air escape…..it feels good to work the dough… it feels good to make life smooth…all the little things from the past week that seemed so difficult, uncomfortable and messy are now in their proper perspective ….they are all part of my life….and I am capable of working them out…working them in…seeing them for what they are…necessary parts of the life I am creating…with my own two hands …

I knead ….calm returns…dreams return….I ‘need’ the calm…I ‘need’ my dreams…while the dough rises and the kitchen is filled with the smell of fresh bread dough, my mental checklist begins.  Why, why-not? What is real?  What is really necessary? Why-not? Always coming back to my dreams…

Given time and warmth the bread rises; even after the mid-way punch-down, it will rise again!  Dreams that sift in and out of our lives, given patience, time, and the right environment can grow and become real.  The bread is now ready to bake.  Making permanent the shape, the flavor, the texture …the smell permeates the house….inhale…smile…anticipation…a dream realized…large or small…a few simple ingredients, nothing complex ….some work and attention… patience… perseverance… and success! Perhaps success that only I alone can savor…and the joy of a dream realized fills my soul.  I smile...
I hope you always find dreams to bring to life …over and over in life…I hope you make the time to bring them to life…scrounge around for them in your heart and in your soul …gather up who, and what, you need…and then …gently knead…

1 comment:

Lewsk said...

Fun, beautiful, inspirational.

So many word, put together in a wonderful way. Thank you!